it's been a long time

and nothing really has changed. i fail things, i hate school, the world shits on me quite a lot, you know. the norm. the only things that have changed are the people. and my haircut.

people change and promises are broken?
right on boys, right on.

and now, a new list of people.



1. you will always be my best friend. i don't care that we almost never see each other, and that we've grown apart. you are always there for me. the only one who is. i miss you so much, and i'm completely ecstatic that i'm going to get to see you more.

2. you've changed so much these past couple of months. i feel like you care too much about what your new friends think of you. i don't like the way you act now. it's like you're incredibly immature, but trying to act older, all at the same time. you are definitely not the same person you were six months ago.

3. i am so jealous of you. you're gorgeous, you get good grades, you're in an adorable relationship, everybody loves you, and you always know how to handle everything. you are one of my best friends and although i feel like you're ditching me sometimes, i don't think you mean to. i still haven't gotten really seriously mad at you yet. i don't know where i'd be without you. this summer is going to be awesome.

4. you've gotten better about your ego. i am so proud of you. i can talk to you about anything and you'll give me your opinion, whether you agree with it or not. i like how you speak your mind. you aren't afraid of anything or anyone, and you always remind me to do the same. best friend.

5. you, on the other hand, have not gotten better about your ego. i love you dearly, but seriously. i think you need to get over yourself. other people are going to do the same things as you, and you need to learn to deal with it. you can't always be the only one.

6. i'm really glad we've gotten closer this year. you're totally insane and you're always lots of fun to be around. oh, and we're moving to british columbia!

7. you are the most confusing person i have ever met in my entire life. there is a constant rotation of flirting with and then ignoring me. i don't get it. do you like me, or are you just a big flirt? i may never know, because i'm about to give up on you.

8. you pity yourself way too much. don't even talk to me about all of your problems and how your life sucks, because so many people, including me, are worse off. i'm sick of hearing it. just shut up.

9. you make me forget about all my boy problems when i see you. i will always have a little crush on you, even though i almost never see you. and you hug me like you're actually glad to see me, which i love.

10. i was wrong about you, last time i made one of these. you're not a jerk at all, you're actually really sweet. you just don't know when you're flirting. you can always make me laugh, even though we're not that close.

11. you are one of my newest friends. i talk to you about "boy" all the time, and you give good advice. you're really fun to be around, and i hope we become even better friends as this year goes on.

12. this is for a group of people, if they happen to see it. i love you girls, and even though we're all over the country (and out of the country!), and we pretty much just talk over the internet, sometimes you all treat me better than my friends at home do. we have endless inside jokes and we have the best times. summer 08, baby. what a win. we'll all get together someday, i promise.

13. you two are pretty much a package deal, so you're together on this one. you're two of my newest friends, and i adore you both. the two of you are crazy and fun to be with and you've introduced me to a lot of good music. there's never a dull moment with you girls.

14. you are so talented and you always seem so confident, but sometimes it slips, and that makes me sad. you are a lot prettier than you think you are. you always make me smile. we're going to have a great time these next few months.



i'll think of more later, maybe.

i can't believe you

i hate how just when things are starting to get better, someone has to ruin it. i can't even give all the details because i can't think straight. that's how upset i am. this whole situation is making me question my faith in so many things. i don't even know if it's true or not, but i can't stand it. now, i usually don't hate. my motto is increase the peace. but right now, i could kill someone. fuck the peace.


this blog doesn't even make any sense; sorry if you don't know what i'm talking about.

i wish i had an open basement.
i need to dance.

maybe i'm just delusional

so i just downloaded the camp rock soundtack, and it is truely inspirational. no lie. i know it's just a cheesy disney channel movie, but some of the songs are actually pretty good. i'm kind of having a revalation here. i have to make the most of my summer, and really work for what i want. who cares if i'm going to summer school? it's over by 10, and my last day is july 2nd. not bad at all. kick it into high gear, torr! i need to get all of my crap together for camp rock 2 and all the other auditions and stuff. i need to stop procrastinating and get it done. i'm really feeling inspired. something exciting is going to happen this summer. i can feel it. all of the dance classes, voice lessons, tumbling, and everything is going to pay off.



get ready, everyone.
here i come.

i failed

by less than a point.











i really can't stand school.

hey, tony oller.

i love you.

Warning:

energy drinks should be consumed slowly. unless you only need energy for like two hours.


if you don't want to crash, drink it slowly!


















in case you haven't caught on, i'm in major crash mode.
I LOVE ROCKSTAR.

it's pretty crazy

i decided that i'm actually going to try for something. i'm going to audition for stuff. really. i think i've gained a lot of confidence over the past few weeks. yes, i can dance. and yes, i can sing! there, i said it. i can do it. i'm trying to be more positive. hopefully camp rock will work out, or at least spark something, and i'll be able to actually get into the business. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying i'm going to get in. there's about a one and a million chance. but it's still a chance nonetheless. it could happen. and if it doesn't, there's always more auditions. i'm willing to work for it. it's going to be hard, and i'm going to get knocked down. i'll have to suck it up and deal with nasty people. i'll face rejection and heartbreak and failure.

and i can't wait.

it's the start of something new for me.